'I am a Pioneer'

If you know me... you know I do not have children... one day it is a dream of mine to be able to be a mother and have a family... but for now I remember the wise words of one who reminded me at one time I could have a "mother's heart" still... despite the paths I am on...

Today I had the opportunity of going up to visit my friend and her kids... as I left I wondered if I would be there longer then I had initially thought.. (just through lunch)... but quickly dismissed it, and went on my way...

When I got there learned Jen's daughter, Saddie had been sick, throwing up all night... we talked for a while... and she began to try to get her kids together to go run errands around one ... as I looked at Saddie (almost 4 years old) curled up on my lap in her pink princess night gown, I could tell this was not a good time for an outing for her... so I offered to stay with her...

As we sat there cuddled up, at one point out of the blue, she looked up in my eyes, and said with determination, "Heaz, I am a pioneer."

"Yes, Saddie, you are," was all I could think to say...and she snuggled back down, drifting off to sleep... 

As I drove back Logan, I reflected back to that quiet moment... I wondered if she realized the impact of the truthfulness of her words... As I drove I listened to the theme song from trek... thinking of the blessings, opportunities, experiences, and potential this girl has to come to her yet in this life.... I hope she is able to remember she can do and will do so many things, even if they are hard....

The clouds roll above us
the mighty stars shine down
The rainstorms give life to the ground
Everywhere we look, we see His hands
The almighty Father
Has blessed us with His plan

(chorus)
Remember the journey 
Remember this time
You are being tested
Your are being tried
Remember your promise
Remember your design
With every breath
With every step
Walk faithfully
Remember the journey

You loved the Father
You chose the light
your faithfulness led you to this life
But so much seems to try to pull you down
To make you loose the light that you once found...
(chorus)

Somedays... I wish I could fly back to the day when you were around, and although it would hurt... we'd walk... and walk till it was numb...

But things are different now... and I would not want those days.. and I do not really miss you, but rather that there was someone as opposed to no one...

Ha ha... sounds like I was in an abusive relationship or something eh? Not at all...

I started this blog so I could more or less record quick thought or idea as it came to mind not to be a long series of thoughts... something I'd allow to be public...so there are two thoughts for tonight...that one... and the following...

I love sunday night walks, even by myself, especially with lightening, but sometimes I wish there was thunder and rain too...