Wednesday, July 2, 2014

Tapestry of Others

Disclaimer: I have actually started this post multiple times in the past month, trying to figure out how to tie in all my thoughts to the tapestry of this post. I have been through some interesting experiences over the last month, but they all lead back to significant relationships in my life....Most of this was written over three weeks ago...

 On a particularly down day about three weeks ago, a friend pushed the right questions, asking me about how I was. The response I got did not surprise me, yet it was not something I anticipated from him at the time... "And in the end all that matters is the Gospel. Work or no work, money and riches or none, all that matter are God and people." Although from that thought, our discussion continued, I have come back reflecting...people... people are really who matter...

All of us have so many different relationships in this life, with numerous people, and varied is the depth of those relationships, which is definitely needed. While some at work may be 'casual with no personal life intermixed'... others relationships are the polar opposite...strictly personal, where it is deepened over time as with each interaction...

Maybe the reason for this current reflection is because I have been aware of and even looking at some of those people who matter in my life... and what they have done for me lately... Although no names will be used, you will probably know who you are if reading your this post... may you each be blessed for the love you have shared with me, and I hope you feel the gratitude in my heart for the cords you have played in the melody of my life...
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I went to Nebraska last month with my parents and my youngest sister, as we came back to town I offered to drive the other sister down to her house the next day so my parents could continue home. As I was leaving with her that Saturday, a friend (of ten years) called whom I have not talked with much in the last few years. Although he did not say much he skirted around the issue of needing to make some big "life choices." So I offered to stop by after dropping my sister off... we talked a little before it was time for a meeting with some other valued friends.

Yet, serious conversation continued the next morning about the repercussions of each side. As the analysis wound down to an end, I asked him, "How do you feel about it when you pray about it?" The response was simple, "good." "Then do it, and remember how you feel now, when things get rough," came out of my mouth before I knew what I was saying... At that point in the conversation, I needed the advice I gave just as much as he did...

However, when I thought our serious talk was nearing an end, he turned to me and said, "Heather, What about you?" It was so refreshing, we used to talk about things a ton, especially big decisions we each had to make a different times. Although it had been a long time since we had had such a lengthy talk, I was grateful he wanted to talk to me in his time of decision, but had not felt like I needed to talk much. As I opened up to him about how I felt and what was going on in the stages of my life, he asked questions, listened so intensely as few do. Sometimes in life... we need someone who will ask about us beyond how we are doing.... thank you.... I needed that more then I knew, but recognized as I drove home that early, beautiful Sunday morning....
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One of my closest friends in SLC called me on a Saturday afternoon, asking what I was doing that night... Spontaneously, she had decided to come up to meet me in Brigham City for dinner... Although I had plans, they were adjustable enough... so I met her there.... Although it was not what I had planned for the night, we talked about different significant experiences we had had over the last month, and how they had impacted us. As we filled in each other with different details, it helped us to each see other perspectives, we grew in our understanding of what we had experienced. This sister is one who is so generous, and loving. She an amazing sister and I grow from her example every time I am with her. Yet, her struggles are so real, just as tangible as mine. They may be different, but we still love each other as we come together and share... Sometimes in life... we need someone who will give us opportunities to be spontaneous... thank you.
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Another individual & I went hiking about two weeks ago after we both finished work one night. We went up the canyon, but found the upper gate would not be open for another month. Frustrating as it was, we turned and selected the next trail we could find. We did not know the trail we were on, but asked the first people we came across who told us that it was about 3 miles long, and that it "followed a creek, and then go steep for a bit, and then wen to a great look out".... 'A little steep,' I thought ... going up next to the creek seemed steep enough... but sure enough, it did get steeper... we talked a lot, well I asked questions between huffs of air, and when longer responses were needed we'd stop and chat about them....after a bit things did seem to even out better, and we wondered if we had reached the spot, even if the trail did continue on. We wondered a bit, but figured we we turn around shortly. However, a lone hiker approached us and told us that there was a great look out that we had yet to reach. I was tired. I was worn out, and ready to turn around...but I knew my friend would keep going if he could... and that he did... so exhausted as I was, I followed, at my slow pace pausing here and there. I hit a point where I could not see him any more, and wanted to give up. He was nowhere in site, I did not know how I was going to keep going...asking for help as I trudged on to the next corner to stumble around. Then, as I turned the corner, and could see "the spot"... it was beautiful and so green, with the amazing light before sunset creating the glow on the mountains... (pictures posted today are from this hike) Later we learned it was over 2000 ft elevation gain in about 3 miles... Sometimes in life...others will push us to walk up the steep hills, and even let us walk alone a few yards... Thank you...
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On of my closest friends in Logan was talking to me the other night... she was rather open about not understanding why some things do not always work out and why others do... She mentioned that she had had a lot of questions... and then she sited an example in me... Why did something not go the way I had felt it would, she used an example...she told me of some of the good she saw in me... it was so nice to see I had been validated in how I felt...At that moment I was touched she had thought about me that much. As I read this article, I reflected back to this conversation...  Sometimes in life... we need to know others think about us... Thank you
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Spontaneously I ran into something online that reminded me of an evening where I sat in an arm chair in an elevator of an apartment building with a friend for a while. I loved seeing peoples faces and acting like everything was normal as we went up and down... When I saw this link, I emailed it to him last week... as we wrote joked around, we ended up meeting up at a climbing gym. Because of some broken bones, over the past few years, I have lost some of the technique I once had, we climbed a few, but then he offered to help me by giving me some feedback. I knew I was not climbing clean, but was so frustrated I did not know what to change... As I listened, watched him demonstrate, and then tried to apply his words (while he was yelling up to me from down below). I could physically feel the difference it made to apply his words, the last one was the hardest one I tried all night, yet in some ways it was easier. Sometimes in life... we need someone who will be brave enough to tell us what we can do to make things easier for us, even if the feedback is hard to hear.... Thank you.... 
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Life is and can be exciting, even with the unknown paths before us... I was reminded by a friend the other night.. that sometimes the unknown is good and exciting... I loved the enthusiasm that thought gave to me.. Sometimes in life we need to be reminded that it is good and it is exciting... thank you..
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In life, between the pushing and shoving through the daily grind, we need people... more then we may realize. We can not and should not always just fill our needs from one or two buckets... often it is the color of variety from others that gives us the ability to see a different perspective, to lighten our load or the needed encouragement to continue our journey... Likewise, we may be the ones to reach into our bucket, offering just what others need in life... I was thanked for this recently... But we are if not offering outward, maybe it is time to re-evaluate why we are holding back ... It makes me frustrated and sad to see others hold back, when they unknowingly could make a difference those around them if the gave outwardly ... We must not fall into the trap thinking our buckets have no need of being filled taking in more, or that we greedily hoard all of our 'fruit' and do not freely offer it to others.... Receive with gratitude, share with those whose paths you cross.